Holy shit, I got my period!
Why "holy shit"? Because I haven't had a period since April... 2008. They just stopped. I realize I should have gone to the doctor with "holy shit my ladyparts are broken" about two years ago, but, you know, why question a good thing? I just made sure to keep up on pregnancy tests and enjoyed it. (Thus adding "never has a period" to the hair-trigger vaginal orgasms and Etch-a-Sketch skin among reasons my physiology is clearly some sort of experiment by clandestine male-chauvinist biologists.)
And then this. For no reason, I just got a completely normal period! Jesus Christ, I'm a woman! I have a uterus and hormones! I'm possibly even fertile! It's amazing!
...Okay, this is really gross and uncomfortable. I get the picture, body, you're a woman, how lovely for you. Let's do this again in another two years.