Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Last night marked the first time a stranger actually tried the "you're a submissive, right, so I order you to suck my cock" gambit on me.

It didn't go so well for him.


  1. Does he still have one?

    (Did he have one beforehand?)

  2. Oh pleasepleaseplease, share the details.

    Just wait until I've popped some corn and settled back on the sofa...

  3. *grabs the rum for story time*

    can't listen to a good story without a good drink ^_^

  4. The story's not really as good as the wind-up. A guy IMed me and the conversation went more or less like this:

    "so ur relly kinkky huh"
    "Um, yes."
    "wud u fuk me"
    "No. Bad typing turns me off and I don't even know you."
    "u a sub, u shud suk my cock"
    "but u a sub u hav 2 a sub dun got a choice"
    "You're a pathetic human being, you know that? I know you're too stupid to understand this but I'll just enjoy saying it: yeah, I am a sub, I have fantastically wild and perverted sex, and because you're so stupid and rude and can't type properly you'll never, ever get to find out what that's like."
    "u sound dominate"
    "Fuck off."
    "so wud u tie me up"

  5. Oh, and then when I stopped playing along he started repeatedly threatening to rape me. I'm sure it was just a knee-jerk "i wud rape u with a thusand screamin wolverins cause i kno cung foo" Internet Tough Guy threat, though.

  6. yeah, I am a sub, I have fantastically wild and perverted sex, and because you're so stupid and rude and can't type properly you'll never, ever get to find out what that's like.

    Fucking EPIC.

    I hate guys like that: the rudeness, the bad typing, and especially the whole "I wanna do kinky stuff! Any kinky stuff!" attitude. I have never had a satisfying kink experience with a guy who just wanted to "do a bunch of weird sex stuff" and had no particular preferences or ideas. They always say they want to try being submissive and then get all uppity when I actually dom them. It's not all about hot chicks in leather outfits loosely tying your hands with a scarf while they fuck you, kids. Sometimes I get mean.


  7. The sad thing is that, as someone who actually takes the time to get to know people, puts thought into even his conversation openers, etc., I find myself furious at all the emotionally-retarded, mindless assholes who embitter the women into whose pants I would love to get.

    Thankfully, when I do meet someone who hasn't sworn off so much as meeting people without a months-long vetting process, it tends to go *very* well, and since I'm at least a marginally rational agent, I don't spurn them afterwards.

    After all, I find that the sex just gets better, the more you get to know someone.

  8. perversecowgirl said - "They always say they want to try being submissive and then get all uppity when I actually dom them.... Sometimes I get mean."

    I'd like some terminology help. I like things like performing cunnilingus followed by begging for and receiving a footjob. I think that doesn't make me count as submissive in perversecowgirl's book. How can I more clearly self-identify? (And actually, I'd be more of a switch, but I'm even milder as a dom.)

  9. Mousie00 - Self-identify how you want to; that sounds more like "kinkster" than exactly dominant or submissive to me, but it's not really mine to say.

    The thing that's important is that you have specific kinks, know what they are, and can negotiate them honestly--rather than just seeing it as yet another route to a pussy that you don't even know what to do with.

  10. IMO, being a "dominant" or a "submissive" means that power dynamics and being in a specific role is a huge sexual deal for you. Not that you can't get off without that polarized dynamic, but that it's a huge bonus to you in and of itself regardless of the other context of the play.

  11. I wonder if there are people who actually get turned on by that sort of abysmal "txt" spelling.

  12. Comrade PhysioProf - I think there are people out there who think "as long as you can tell what I'm trying to say, why does it make a difference?" Which is the same logic as thinking that you look the same in ripped stained sweatpants as in well-fitted new jeans, because hey, it's pants either way.

  13. Mousieoo: How can I more clearly self-identify?

    You generally can't sum up your kink life in a single "stock phrase" - there are so many variations on every theme. When I was single and prowling, I never just told potential subs I was "dominant"...I told them I'm dominant and gave a brief description of my general attitude and some of the things I liked (or was curious about) doing.

    Like Holly said, the important thing is that you know what you like and you're able to negotiate it honestly.

    And begging for a foot-job sounds pretty damn subby to me (also: HOT), which just goes to show how widely people's opinions on kink can vary. Hence the need for further descriptive phrases beyond "kinky" or "sub" in order for people to fully understand your needs.

  14. Holly, LabRat, thanks for the advice. I understand why Holly says "self-identify how you want", but I want to self-identify in the most communicative way possible. I like "kinkster" because it doesn't sound too specific and invites discussion; if I call myself submissive and then will NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES accept real handcuffs, it might cause confusion. And since I'm going to be trying to get all this stuff ironed out verbally without even a trial run before marriage, I want to be as clear as possible as early as possible.

    LabRat, good description. The polarized power dynamic in whatever scenario is a huge bonus for me, and I'm not that picky about which side I'm on.

  15. Posted before seeing your comment, perversecowgirl, thank you too!

  16. *gargles in agony at reading that mutilation of 'language'*

    On behalf of my species, I'm so, so sorry.

  17. I'm actually on the opposite side; a lot of varying kinds of play is fun for me, but after a lot of experimentation I found that polarized power dynamics in and of themselves mainly just annoy me. I love to be able to take or be taken and have that be hot, but when that becomes the the entire point of things I find myself sorta looking at my metaphorical watch waiting for the part where everybody gets orgasms.

  18. Wow Holly, did you meet Mel Gibson? It was Mel Gibson right?

  19. Mousie, If you don't fit into someone's preconceptions of what All Submissives do, the problem is the preconceptions (and the preconceiver), not you.


  20. the problem is the preconceptions (and the preconceiver), not you.

    Actually, I'd say that the problem is the maddening imprecision of language itself. But maybe that's just me.

  21. @perversecowgirl

    This comes to mind:

  22. I don't know what lojban is (I'm guessing a programming language?) but I understand the point of the comic anyway. :)

    xkcd is awesome.

  23. Lojban is actually a spoken language (technically). It's a conlang (constructed language; the best known one is Esperanto) designed to avoid syntactic and phonetic ambiguities, i.e. "Time flies like an arrow" and "hear" vs "here".

    It's pretty cool, and more information can be found here: http://www.lojban.org/

    One of my favorite things about it at the moment is the word "je'unai" (pronounced kinda like zhe-hoon-eye), which is, loosely speaking, a sarcasm tag.