Awkward Facebook moment: seeing that the guy who tried to fist me after I safeworded and left me tied up is listed as "in a relationship."
It's fairly clear that there's nothing I can say to her. I don't know the girl at all, and I'd come off as a psycho ex, or just plain psycho. And maybe it would be psycho; I don't have the right to go around trying to sabotage his relationships.
Hell, maybe he won't hurt her. He was (at least in the latter half of the relationship, at the beginning we actually dated but by the end he wouldn't go outdoors with me) very clear about me being a sex girl, not a respectable girl. If they're Facebook-official, that probably means she's a respectable girl and will be treated totally differently. (Besides, she's skinny; Benny was pretty clear that being fat was up there with being kinky on why I was not a respectable girl.)
I suppose I could message him, although I don't really know what I'd say; any form of "you better watch it" is a very empty threat at 3200 miles and just cements me as crazy in his mind. Maybe I just need to let him know, in an almost-friendly way, that what he did was abusive in my mind, because I'm not sure he knows he did anything wrong. It's hard to do even that without being psycho though.
I guess the easy answer is to unfriend him and put it all out of my mind. It drives me crazy when otherwise politically-active people refuse to take any action against the abusers in their own lives, but I figure that Benny's, I don't know, only sort of a real mild borderline case, he didn't like beat me or whatever, my vagina didn't actually tear it just bled a little, so I should mind my own business. Ugh.
Dear Internets: if someone only abuses you a little bit and it's like really borderline and probably not like abuse abuse or anything, do I:
A) Message his girlfriend with a detailed account and warning, and maybe a mention of that birthmark on his thigh
B) Message him with "hey, just so you know, what you did to me was so not cool and I really hope you remember that so you can be cool with this girl"
C) Go about my business and not make waves