Thursday, May 6, 2010

Flatland.

I don't usually just copypasta something and call it a post, but I'm making an exception for awesomeness. This was, of all things, on a nail polish blog, but I just have to reproduce it because it's too awesome:

Their vertexes locked across the room. The sexagon slid boldly over the plane until he stood before the lithe young triangle. "Hey, baby," he said. "If I told you that you had a beautiful perimeter, would you hold it against me?"

The triangle blushed and looked shyly at her smallest angle.

"Come on, doll," the brazen sexagon continued, "Don't be obtuse. It doesn't suit acute one like you. You don't want to be a square, do you? I'm not going to stand here and complement you all night. Let me buy you a gin and conic."

"No, thanks," the triangle said. "What's your angle?"

"My angle? You could fill the null set with all the other guys in here who would give you the coordinates of the origin. Look, you know you're the right triangle for me. Let's go back to my place and we can give it an ol' whirl around the XXX-axis. Tangentially, it's cool if you're bisectoral, you can bring a friend."




Credit to Panderbear.

8 comments:

  1. All of a suden I find myself really liking nail polish blogs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...There are nail polish blogs?

    Man, I've been on the Internet since I was ten, you'd think I'd stop being surprised by this sort of thing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Sexagon"? I mean, sure, some people improperly call a heptagon (seven sides) a "septagon", Which is understandable because it's hardly a common term. And, obviously, there's the better-known "hexagon" which has six sides. But it sounds to me like somebody did that wrong on purpose for the sake of a stupid joke.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very funny! (though women were lines in flatland)Anyway, Cracked.com just did something kind of like cosmocking --Enjoy! http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/relationshipadvice_header_final.jpg

    --Ann

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tangent: I just actually read the book Flatland a few weeks ago, and holy god is it frothingly sexist (actually, you can insert quite a few 'ists' into that sentence and have it work just fine for Flatland). Interesting concept, but even by the standards of the time I was pretty appalled.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm pretty sure Abbott's Flatland is a social satire and is supposed to be criticizing the sexism, classism, hierarchy, etc., of the 2-D society as a proxy for his own Victorian society. At least, that's how it read to me last time I read it, which was 10+ years ago.

    ReplyDelete