Tuesday, September 28, 2010


I have a keyboard I have a keyboard I have a keyboard. Oh QWERTY you feel so good under my fingers. Home row, I'm home. After more than a month of blogging on an iPod, I cracked and got a cheapie netbook, and now I'm typing in blazing Actual-Typing-O-Vision instead of painfully picking out each letter like a butterfly in some kind of goddamn diving bell.

Unfortunately, I also have to work a double-back shift in the Emergency Pit in less than an hour, so I don't have time to really explore what's possible with a blog when you can fucking type, but I'm looking forward to getting around to everything I'd backlogged, from two full Cosmockings to some more serious essay-style posts and probably some good dirty stories too.

For the moment, I leave you with this vignette:

Rowdy and Sprite are fucking while I'm ordering dinner from Foodler.
Me: Do you guys want Thai food?
Rowdy: [thrust, thrust] Yeah, get me some phad thai.
Me: With the shrimp?
Rowdy: [thrust, thrust] Uh huh.
Me: Sprite, do you want anything?
Sprite: No thanks, I'm full.
Rowdy and me: [helpless laughter]


  1. Yay, from me too! Expecting impatiently for the Cosmockings!

  2. Give you joy of your keyboard, my dear. Looking forward to extended narratives of depravity.

  3. http://www.cocky-and-funny.com/top-ten-ways-to-use-cocky-and-funny/

    If you ever run out of inspiration (which is unlikely I guess). But I just had to link that page which is the worst PUA thing I've EVER read.

  4. Anon, nice article there. You know, I've had guys use all of those tactics on me. I was just embarrassed for him. I feel bad for whatever poor girl fell for it, though. Talk about predatory...

    Welcome back, Holly! I am so glad you're back on a full-size computer now :)

  5. Wow, Anonymous! You're right, that's horrifying.

    Back in college, I was eating a cheeseburger in the burger place one day. Some apparently militant vegetarian walked up to my table, sat down, and said, "Red meat causes impotence, you know." My mouth was full, but I must given her quite a look, because she immediately got up again and hustled away.

    Apparently a PUA would consider that to be wasted on anti-carnivorous activism, it's instead the GREATEST PICK-UP LINE EVAR!!1!

  6. Um, cocky-funny is supposed to be playful, duh. Usually you behave like that with people with whom you already have a certain degree of rapport, so what you're doing is assuming rapport, which is awkward but not necessarily icky, or screening for women who have submissive responses to harassment by men (potentially very icky.) I've never known it to work for me, but that's because I don't carry the other visual machismo cues that compel submission, whereas I've seen women simply melt for boundary violation by Mystery, TylerDurden, and BadBoy in person. However, there are probably more ethical ways to find women who like that sort of thing, but AFAIK I'm the only PUA who reads the Yes Means Yes blog.

  7. I would actually find that a pretty good conversation starter, to the extent that I'm a veg-positive person who actually feels somewhat guilty about (though thrall to) his meat consumption. It's like, "Thank you for caring, are you trying to recruit me, and for what, precisely?" Then again, I have had analogous spontaneous interventions about my food choices, like "Falafel is Israeli-colonialist appropriation of Palestinian-Arab Muslim food" foisted on me. (Muslim per se? How odd. It is true that many identical dishes are copied by Jews of Arab culture and given a different name.) It may be that some universities politicize everything about food, or I'm just unlucky.