Monday, September 13, 2010

Motivational Mismatch.

I guess I should be defending/clarifying myself on the bisexuality post--I'm not criticizing actual bisexuality, I'm not literally saying guys should be pressured into party-bi behaviors either, I'm just a bit annoyed by the social pressure and "everyone thinks like a heterosexual man, right?" assumptions that can sometimes put women in situations where they're uncomfortably going against their sexual orientation--but eh. I'd rather think about last night.

It wasn't anything super kinky. We fucked and slept and fucked some more. We went through, I think, about eighty-three positions--not in the "okay, now I want to try The Naughty Folded Elm Tree" way, but in the organic "hey, why don't you try putting your legs over here... ooh, like that" way. It was by turns cuddly and athletic, and always... happy. I love happy sex. There was something so delightfully straightforward about it. Also he had a cock like a goddamn Coke can.



"In sex ed, they told us that sex could lead to herpes, AIDS, babies,low self-esteem... but they didn't mention backrubs."
"Oh yes. Sometimes there are backrubs."
"They should mention that in class. Teach the controversy."

25 comments:

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    1. The words "Roissy has a great post" are always incorrect. It is an anti-tautology.

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    2. Just ran across this blog randomly, but Nick Simmonds you made my day.

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  2. "Eggs are biologically more expensive than sperm, and the brain of each sex has evolved to reflect that immutable procreative reality; in women, their minds are primed from birth to regard themselves as the more valuable sex"

    Roissy is missing a few obvious biological points! Of course, men come from egg+sperm same as women, in terms of cellular matter a boy costs exactly as much as a girl. HOWEVER, an x chromosome is nearly twice the size of a y chromosome! Obviously the difference in chromosome size hardwires women with more self esteem. Of course x-inactivation is a factor, explaining why women have *unreasonable* self-esteem-- they innately sense that they have more genetic material than men, while actually having equivelent levels of gene transcription. It all makes sense to me now!

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  3. Oh lord, not the trolls again. Look, if men are such horrible, horrible monsters that women must constantly act against their personal interests and desires in order to appease them, wouldn't women be far better off killing them all and figuring out how to reproduce without them? After all, appeasing monsters doesn't do anything except delay one's own personal suffering at the expense of others. It does not help oneself or anyone else in the long run.

    ...Backrubs. What's so special about that? Never had one.

    ...Coke-can penis. I'm assuming you mean like four inches long and two inches thick. I've seen one like that before.

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  4. FWIW, I totally got where you were going with that post, and thought it was great.

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  5. Oh god, I love sexually transmitted backrubs.

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    1. I love this comment :) And "happy sex" is such a great description - I agree, yay for happy sex and STB's!

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  6. I thought your bisexuality post was clear as day - lovely bit of satire. :D And I agreed with it all. I get miffed two ways with the girls kissing girls for attention - false signals to me (bisexual woman) and being tainted with same attention-seeking brush.

    Happy sex is wonderful stuff. Yay for happy sex.

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  7. LOL! yes, that is the problem with most women i know. their egos are too big. EXCESSIVE SELF-ESTEEM, the feminine epidemic!

    flightless
    (i have had gin)

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  8. er... that was to the Roissy troll. I thought the bi-for-the-boys vent was spot on!

    flightless

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  9. Hey...

    I've just remembered that Roissy is a cunt. In other news, the sky is up and water is wet.

    Sounds like you had a marvellous time last night.

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  10. I think Roissy is a prophet and that PUAs could fruitfully begin to explore our schtick as a kind of consent fetishism, or seduction-process fetishism, by being willing to take a step back and go meta-meta. The idea of PU is that you don't need informed, explicit consent to PU (as opposed to sex) because the processes of PU "ARE" the (universal) map of (het female) desire and fulfillment of that desire in "the real world." (Speaking in terms of NLP maps/processes for those familiar with such.) Stepping back and naming the process and getting consent (which is a no-no from the PUA perspective) just turns it into a really roundabout role-play kink. Ross Jeffries argued within the PUA community that men could/would act ethically once they were coming from a place of abundance of sexual opportunities and satisfaction, and there is a connection I'm still trying to winkle out between the ethics of going meta and the assertion "women make it too hard for men to get laid." I don't think I'd personally enjoy trying to force low self-esteem on my partners but I'd certainly like a system in which I had some sexual agency.

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  11. Oh for the millionth fucking time, no, you don't get to fuck anyone you want. Poor fuckin' baby.

    Women make it to hard for men to get laid? That's because "getting laid" is an activity that happens to take place INSIDE OUR BODIES, dude. We're not just being difficult.

    Using "sexual agency" to mean "I get to fuck hotties on demand" is a grotesque distortion of the term.

    And as for "we'd be ethical if we got laid"... that's basically a fucking THREAT.

    The stuff you say, Eurosabra, is offensive, whiny, incredibly short-sighted, and always seems just a hair's breath away of justifying outright rape.

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  12. PUAs only have a "consent fetish" insofar as they'd like to get consent from various women who actually don't want to fuck them.

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  13. Yeah, well, you'd say that, wouldn't you? Of course you've already decided My KINOK, you construe everything as maximally threatening, and you constantly accuse me of being a borderline rape-apologist. So, y''know, the fact that someone within The Community decided to handle the issue as "ethics first, abundance later" falls on your deaf ears.

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  14. If consent (wheedled, demanded, persuaded, connived, extracted BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY) is your kink, that's not okay.

    Anyway, have you seen the shit Roissy writes? He's beneath even you.

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  15. Well, the theory is that you're naturalizing a conscious process of gaining attraction rather than relying on randomly triggering someone's attraction to you. And since acquiescence (rather than enthusiastic consent) isn't really consent, I don't see how anyone could rely on it as a kink. Most of the actually effective PUAs are good-looking, usually rich guys in a specific club context (which is why they often hate changing cities, changing clubs, etc) so (& also given my admittedly limited experience) I don't see/haven't seen any marginal, questionable consent episodes in pick-up, and I was in on Project Hollywood to a certain extent. Roissy just seems to be coming from an older, darker place than I am, but DC is a more cynical city and because it's less prettified by showy wealth and glittery distractions, PUAs there are harder-core and more bitter.

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  16. I'd certainly like a system in which I had some sexual agency.

    I'm pretty sure the concept of "having no sexual agency" means you don't have any say in your sex life at all, and this is not the case. You've been accorded the same exact amount of "sexual agency" as everyone else living in civilized society: you get to fuck anyone who's interested in fucking you. Conversely, if someone is interested in fucking you but you're not interested back, you can say no.

    If that's not enough for you, that would mean...what? That you think women should have sex with you even if they don't want to? I'd have to side with Holly here: that is both douchey and rapey.

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  17. The more I look at my supposed "privilege", the more I think that as long as we are proceeding on a strict basis of "no harm to others", I am allowed to think and feel and speak as I wish about the limitations I face in this respect.

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  18. Sure, you can say what you want. So can I. I want to say you're a creep.

    It's sort of inevitable when you talk about lack of access to humans' bodies as a "limitation" and you throw your lot in with a guy who talks like a complete sexist sociopath.

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  19. "Cuddly...athletic...and happy... I love happy sex. (sorry to distort your words, my browser won't let me copy and paste - 1st world problem, to be sure.) I have recently discovered this kind of sex. I could never have imagined how it was. I mean, I was having ok-ish sex before (it was never bad, I mean, come on). But yeah, perfect description of what can make sex really awesome. Or can make really awesome sex.

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  20. I really loathe the whining about how "easy" women have it sexually. I'm all for changing societal norms, but the implication here is what? That you should be able to club women over the head and drag them to your bed?

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  21. I think, as a man, that I understand why Eurosabra is reacting the way he is. I would too if I were in a similar position and not a feminist myself. As a man, it is not obvious to us that most of Western society quietly espouses a rape culture. It is not enough to say you disagree with statement X and then say what you think; that doesn't explain why you think that way and what led you to think that. It is not obvious why consent is more than getting a woman to say "yes". A lot of people don't know what rape culture is, what aspects of society espouse it, and what can be done to counteract it.

    As a cis-male, straight, and feminist; I must urge you all to not assume that it is obvious. There is still so much which even I'm oblivious to about misogyny and rape culture. Feminism needs more men to speak out and help educate the general populace (especially men), but in order to do that we need the educated feminists to not assume that the answers are obvious. Once your eyes are opened, it may be plain as day, but not everyones' eyes are open.

    EDIT: I just noticed how old this conversation is, but I still think my point is important.

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  22. I know I am late here but I silent lol'd at my desk over "Teach the controversy"

    Thank you for that

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