Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A sex lesson from a cat.
Oh God, no, not like that! Pet the cat's head! This is metaphorical!
That aside... if you have a friendly cat handy, go give the kitty some scritches. Cats, even (or especially) the neutered ones, are shameless pleasure-seekers. They know what feels good and they have no inhibitions about going for it. You'll never hear a cat say "I'd love to eat some houseplants, thoroughly lick my own genitals, and spend the rest of the day napping on the sofa, but I'm so worried what people would think!" Cats don't have those hang-ups.
So when you pet the cat, if you're not quite in the right spot, kitty will help you along. If you're scratching the right ear but kitty's left ear needs some love, kitty will turn its head.
What you can learn is to not compensate for this. Instinctively, you'll move your hand and follow kitty's right ear around so you're still scratching the same spot. This isn't what kitty wants. Kitty wants you to hold your hand still and let kitty work around you. Otherwise you're at cross purposes, canceling each other out.
Learn to accept messages like this. If kitty pushes harder against you, don't back off; understand this means kitty wants more pressure and has just showed you exactly how much more pressure would be good. If kitty pulls away, don't follow; understand this means kitty wants a break.
In this regard, sex partners can be a lot like cats. (Also sometimes in terms of sounds they make and the ability of a tiny one to somehow crowd you off a huge bed.) They'll show you what they need with their bodies, and you'll miss the cue if you try to move in sync with them. If someone tilts their hips differently, presses into you or pulls back a little--keep moving just the way you were moving and make a little mental note, because how they shifted things is how they like it.
Myself, I like real firm pressure on my vulva. Real firm, grinding right up against the bone, pushing against me like a wrestling hold, hard muscular sex with absolutely no surface delicacy to it. I try to say this with my words, but I'll also say it with my hips. When your hand is down my pants and I move my hips up hard against you, don't back up and make me chase you. Understand that it's a message and listen to it.
Kitties know what they want. Bodies know what they want. And sometimes all you have to do is a very deliberate nothing to learn what that is.
[OBVIOUS PUN INTENTIONALLY OMITTED FROM THIS POST]