Okay. Too many dour, thinky, unsexy entries. Let's talk assfucking. Let's even do it with bullet points. On second thought, let's use asterisks.
*I have a huge fetish for theoretical assfucking. The only porn site I pay for is Everything Butt and when I read erotica I look for stories with butt. If it's a story with other stuff then anal, I often come just as the characters get to the butt, just thinking about it. I'd say that 90% of the porn I've gotten off to in the last year is anal.
*This fetish doesn't seamlessly translate to reality. I like the idea of being assfucked, but the actual experience? Fun, but kind of awkward and not transcendent. The "oh God I'm getting my specific fetish buttons pushed SO GOOD" feeling doesn't come up the same way it does when I watch anal porn.
*I do get that "specific fetish buttons" feeling more when I'm having my butt fingered or penetrated with relatively unchallenging toys, or just stroked on the outside. I've only had full-on buttsex a single-digit number of times, so maybe I'm just not used to it, or haven't had practice relaxing for it--I think I just get distracted by the physical challenge and the intensity of the sensations.
*I hate it when guys are jerks about anal. If you go around acting like it's the ultimate conquest of a woman, instead of just another way for us to enjoy our time together, of course I'm not going to let you into my butt. Or anywhere else.
*I think the poop issue is way overstated by people who haven't tried it. I've never given myself an enema for sex and yet I've never had any ickiness. Your butt isn't constantly full of poo; poo only appears when it's time to have a bowel movement and you can feel it when that happens. If you don't have an urge to poop right now, you probably don't have any poop within penis-reach.
*My first ever anal experience was with a guy who thought he was fingering my vagina. I liked it just fine and was making happy noises, and he asked "hmm, what is that?" I was embarrassed (and kind of amazed that someone could not know, seriously) and said something along the lines of "think about it, genius," and he caught on. And stopped! The entire rest of the time I dated him he wouldn't touch my butt again. Jerk.
*My butt always feels weird for a while afterwards. Not painful, just... weird.
*I always wanted to pound a guy in the ass. Benny let me play with his butt sometimes, but he was pretty ginger about it; I couldn't let loose and pound. One of these days I want to find a guy who's experienced and gung-ho enough to let me do that.
*I don't think ass sex is going the "furthest" on some imaginary scale-o-sex that begins at holding hands and heads outward from there. It requires more trust and communication than oral or vaginal, it's not a first-date thing for that reason, but I don't think it's somehow the naughtiest pinnacle of all. It's just a fun alternative activity.
*I was once required by my work to go to a lecture on HIV/AIDS that was taught by, of all people, a nun. She went on at some length about the dangers of "rectal sex." Ewww.
*I also hate it when anal porn stories refer to the "colon," "rectum," "bowels," "intestines," anything to do with poop, or anything supposedly humorous like "Hershey Highway." Ass, butt, and anus will do just fine for my erotic vocabulary, thanks.
*I've always secretly thought the "ass-to-ass" scene in Requiem for a Dream is super hot.
Ah, butt sex. Good stuff. I like it a lot, and pretty much feel about it as you do (from a guy's perspective anyway). I've experimented a lot, and liked what I've tried. I've found the most important thing is to trust your partner (but isn't it always?).
ReplyDeleteThat scene in Requiem for a Dream would have been really hot out of context (Jennifer Connelly <3), but that movie makes my libido go cry in a corner.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, I am the same way about the same thing. I've got such a thing for anal in my fantasies, and probably upward of 75% of my porn watching is butt-related. But actually doing it is... well okay, it's usually pretty amazing. But it also ends up feeling not really worth it. My butt feels uncomfortable afterward (even relaxed I can't stretch much) and kinda queasy for the rest of the day. From getting air pumped in there I think. So as much as I like it it's a special occasions kind of sex.
ReplyDeleteThat Requiem for a Dream scene was the hottest scene that I didn't find hot at all. I don't think I can ever watch that movie again.
Heheh. I regularly daydream about the ass-to-ass scene. Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely further along than most women who have had penetrative anal sex a single-digit (uhhuhur.) number of times.
ReplyDeleteHere's a book that's sure to push that button of yours: Luscious, stories of anal eroticism. I haven't read it myself but any book which focuses on anal stories can only be a very, very good thing. Especially with Tristan Taormino doing the foreword.
Alas, I have yet to experience this particular forbidden fruit. Some women just don't want to know. One day I'll find someone who is open to the idea, whom I can take my time with. Who I can show that there need be no pain.
...That's a point. I know you enjoy hitting when extremely turned on, but how's that work with anal sex? Do you only enjoy it without pain, or does a slight burning turn you on?
There were people who were able to watch enough of Requiem For A Dream to get to that scene without fast forward? I had no idea it existed until now, the movie made me feel like ripping my skin off from about five minutes in on.
ReplyDeleteOwen - I've never really liked professionally published erotica anthologies. They tend to be good writing but not good sex, at least by my depraved standards. Seems like they're always a little too "exploring my delicate secret garden," not enough nasty rough pounding. Maybe I just haven't given the right one a chance.
ReplyDeleteI can enjoy a little pain in buttsex, but even moderate pain makes me worry too much that I'm being damaged.
True enough. :( Although I did give one story a peek. It was a rather, shall we say, rough short story involving a motorcycle. I'll leave the rest up to your fertile imagination. It seems to be more about short stories getting to the point (oh the innuendo) rather than a meandering romance novel. 'Course, I get plenty of that from good ol' Literotica, especially Goldeniangel and DamonX.
ReplyDeleteI reckon you should keep at anal. (Yes, because you really needed Some Guy On The Internet to tell you that.) It sounds as if you need to relax more, mentally. Trust in your partner that he isn't going to damage that most delicate of areas. After all, half of the fun is in your head.
I hope for more blog entries on this. A friend of ass fucking is a friend indeed.
I checked out Everything Butt. It was... um, shall we say, enjoyable. It's been an embarrassing amount of time since my buttons have been pressed so thoroughly. I'm not sold on the enemas, but all that ass play, rimming, fucking, leather, face sitting, restraints, plugs...
Ahem. >_>
As per pegging: Apprehensive as I am about it, I... may indulge the right woman. But pounding? Uhh... (I hate being a hypocrite, I really do.)
Mostly to Owen:
ReplyDeleteAs a guy who's had toys in his butt, I can sympathize with the fear of being damaged. It's not a matter of trust or relaxing. Porn stars aside, that hole is just not as resilient as the usual one, and can be mighty painful even from the gentlest pressure.
For the same reasons, I'm also apprehensive about "pounding". Most dildos, rubbery though some may be, still have less flex to them than a meat cock. Especially, the head of a dildo is as hard as the shaft, unlike a spongy real glans. Having a poker like that jammed forcefully in a spot that hurts deeply and intensely if one goes a just a BIT too deep, gives me the willies.
(different anonymous here)
ReplyDeleteI've pounded boy-ass. It's amazing (for both of us). I use high-quality silicone lube and a silicone dong in a shape and size my partner likes and I've never hurt him. The biggest issue is that he's relatively new to pegging and the sensations sometimes confuse him into thinking he has to poop.
I find sperm in ass to be an excellent substitute for enema for when, you know, you haven't been able to do #2 for days....
ReplyDeleteI find that doubtful.
ReplyDelete"Having a poker like that jammed forcefully in a spot that hurts deeply and intensely if one goes a just a BIT too deep, gives me the willies."
ReplyDeleteI am not understanding this "too deep" thing. As long as your partner is using fingers or a finger-length toy (and not trying to cram a 10-foot drain snake up in there), what is there to hurt? It's not like you have a boy-cervix.
Okay, if there's no such thing as relatively too deep compared to what you're ready for, YOU try it, anon.
ReplyDeleteWhy is a discussion on ass fucking making me cringe so much? D:
ReplyDeleteWe must rectify this.
"think about it genius"? How's a peach like you still single?
ReplyDeleteOh, did someone get butthurt?
ReplyDeleteIt's always a risk in these endeavors.
Holly: I have been on the receiving end of anal sex.
ReplyDeleteAs I am female, and therefore have no prostate, I experienced anal sex as a bit of stretch and burn around the sphincter muscle and no other sensation at all. I asked my partner if he'd managed to get in very far yet, or what, and he was like "dude, our hips are touching". But my insides literally did not feel like anything was going on, let alone something 7.5" long and fairly thick going in and out.
So, extrapolating outward, I assumed that anal sex for a boy would feel like stretch-and-burn on the outside and a whole bunch of pleasure radiating from the top wall about two inches in--and beyond that, a whole lotta nothing. This--and the fact that there's no cervix/wall/valve/cap to bump into--is why I figured the "too deep" thing is not an issue. Perhaps my educated guess is wrong, but it is an educated guess.
Anon - Sorry, I didn't mean to assume about your experiences.
ReplyDeleteBut my experiences have been very different from that--I absolutely could feel every inch and found that adjusting to seven inches is different than adjusting to six inches, so length did matter. No, there's no "cap" in your butt (until you get WAY high up, but that's advanced-level assfuckery), but each section of butt does have to stretch so I feel like there is a thing as "too deep." For me.
YMMV?
"...I absolutely could feel every inch and found that adjusting to seven inches is different than adjusting to six inches..."
ReplyDeleteOw. Kinda glad I didn't experience that. It sounds kind of precarious and scary. Then again I'm not into pain or assplay (unless it's my boyfriend's ass), so mileages definitely do vary. :)
Holly, the sperm as enema thing really does work for me, sometimes I even say yes to my husband's request for some anal sex precisely for that effect (other times just because I feel like it).
ReplyDeleteAbout the sensation I agree with you, definitely could feel every inch, almost always pleasure mixed with some pain, but good pain, you know :)