Thursday, March 18, 2010


I have in my hands a copy of German Cosmo! I'm very excited. It's not a translation of the American one, it's locally written content.

I can't do a full Cosmocking today, because it's going to be super time-intensive with translation factored in, and I don't have the time right now. I'll try very hard to get around to it, though.

Observations I can make without understanding much of the text:

-It seems a bit less boy-crazy and sex-obsessed than the US version. There's only one article on sex and one on relationships, and about five on beauty products.

-It's textier than in the US. There's more complete articles, fewer blurbs and factoids. A lot of the dippy "features" of the US version--quizzes, the "Man Manual," the "Cosmo Gyno," aren't here.

-There are titties. Like with nipples and everything. And man-ass! No wiener, but every other part of the male body is well represented. Remind me to post scans when I get home.

-There's a ton of skin lotion samples stuck in here. Three lotion packets--one large enough for several doses--and one of foundation! It's all schmancy brands too! I wish US Cosmo had this much swag!

-Out of probably 200 people pictured in the ads and editorial, 2 are non-white (and they're in a "United Colors of Benetton" ad). US Cosmo is no rainbow coalition, but German Cosmo is whitetastic. There's plenty of non-white people walking around in Hamburg; it's not like they don't exist in Germany.

-Yeah, it's all mega-skinny people. No diet or weight-loss articles though.

-Their "sexy" photos are way genuinely sexier than the US version's inevitable tepid pictures of a man and woman in generic sexual positions with underwear on. I really must post scans.


  1. Sorry for the creepy, what with this being posted 2 years ago and all. I've been going through your archives slowly ever since I was directed to your Fisking of "Sex is cheap", which was wonderfully entertaining.

    I was wondering if you ever did scan that German Cosmo, or worked on reading it? Personally, I was quite upset at the UK cosmo we get here, because there simply isn't much for me to get angry at, and I wanted to know if the German cosmos are similar?

  2. Woah! I go to comment on a two-years old post that "those scans probably aren't happening at this point are they :( " and, what, someone's three weeks ahead of me.

    Although I'm only going through the Cosmocking ones, not the entire archives, so I don't get quite as many points. Whee.