Sunday, September 23, 2007

Yom Kippur Festivities.

It's Yom Kippur, a day on which I should not have eaten, drunk, worn leather, bathed, or had sex. Oops?

Alan and I did it four times. The third we finished with a blowjob and the fourth he couldn't finish, but we certainly got to it four times at least. Two on the sofa, one in the bed, one on the floor. Extremely fun (if soul-crushingly vanilla), and I didn't feel guilty because I'm an atheist at the moment.

I'm a little worried that in the future when my atheism has gone the way of my relativism, socialism, nihilism, and every other goofy ism trapping of liberal-arts-kid thinking, I'll feel bad about it. But what the hell, if that ever happens I'll have to start with bacon and the fact that Alan is not technically my husband and the Yom Kippur thing will just be icing on that guilt cake.

While I was having my bad-Jew sex, I had a spasm in my right hip so bad I almost had to stop. (A message from the Almighty?) This has happened to me masturbating the last couple days too. I'm not quite sure what's going on. My right hip does have a history of sucking; I dislocated it as a teenager and it's been prone to transient limps and pains ever since. But the sex thing is new. And scary! I'm way too young to be going "oh, sorry, honey, not tonight, my hip is acting up again with the rheumaty."


  1. Maybe that's incentive to rehab your hip?

  2. Bruno - I do exercise my hip and 98% of the time it works fine, it's not like it's permanently gimped--I can run, do squats, kick over my head. It just very occasionally goes old-lady on me.

    And it picks the worst times.

  3. How the hell did you dislocate your hip, anyway? That's the sort of thing that requires a car accident.

  4. Boat accident, actually. I was trying to get out of a kayak onto a very high landing and being kind of clumsy about it, and when I had one leg in and one out the kayak got caught in a current and ow.

    Also, it was only a partial dislocation, it wasn't a surgical case or anything, just a lot of pain and limping.

  5. My hip does that all the time during sex, and I've never done anything to it (that I know of). It's always when I'm doing missionary or some equally simple and theoretically painless position, too. I don't get it.

  6. YAY for Jewish atheists! (I'm one, too) OK here's the thing - what's with the stereotype that Jewish women aren't kinky?!