Friday, July 16, 2010

Quick things while I work on a Cosmocking.

I can touch my nipples to each other! Amazing.


I got hypnotized once. The weird thing was that I never felt like my power to make decisions was gone; I felt like I was independently deciding to do everything the hypnotist said. You say I'm a chicken sir? Well, I just so happen to want to be a chicken, and this has nothing to do with you! Bawk.

So the experience did give me a certain perspective on how manipulation can work.


X-ray pin-up calendar. So now you've seen everything. These look real to me, which makes me worry a little bit about the radiation safety factor, and a little bit about the awkwardness that could result from a particularly dense stool.


I don't know what I want. Not in a "bleh, nothing makes me happy," way, but in a "things make me happy that I never expected to" way. With kinks, I've learned to never say never because I usually end up doing it later that week. And with people, I've learned never to be too sure about my "type" because someone totally different is about to say hi.

I also sometimes go through a cycle where I think that I'll just die without a guy and I'm doomed to be obsessed with him forever, and then about 24-72 hours later I'm completely cool with the whole situation. Not sour-grapes "he was an asshole anyway!" cool, just "well, I can take him or leave him and a lot is up to his own choices" cool.


I'm amazed how many grown adults play the "everything but intercourse" game as a way to signify that what they're doing with you--because it's casual, or kinky, or outside their primary relationship, or too soon in a relationship--isn't really sex. I respect the choice and I'll take what I can get, but... I really really really like intercourse, and I think that if I'm sucking your cock and you're wrist-deep in my vagina we're in no position to be saying "it doesn't count because we didn't have sex."

Maybe it's a pregnancy/disease thing? But personally I wouldn't do most of the "everything but" activities with someone I couldn't reasonably trust to tell the truth about their birth control or disease status.


  1. I don't know what I want either. But in my case it's because I tend to get blindsided by my emotions or my subconscious, because I don't seem to want to follow the usual marriage-and-babies script but don't have easy access to any other, and because I lack the confidence not to care what other people think.

  2. Many years ago I attended a function where at the end, for entertainment a hypnotist pulled some audience members onto the stage and put them under.

    Somehow he got one of the volunteers to jerking off on stage.
    Actually, I should probably say - in response to the hypnotist's suggestions, one of the volunteers started jerking off on stage. It's not like the hypnotist told anybody to start doing that. The suggestion was, "Now picture everybody in the audience is naked and so are you!"
    Yeah that's... probably not the reaction the hypnotist had in mind. He probably wasn't really under. It was probably his plan to do that all along.

    This volunteer didn't like whip it out, but he was um, stimulating himself over his baggy pants so he had a good grip.

    Why do I remember this.

  3. "Now picture everybody in the audience is naked and so are you!"

    Exactly what kind of reaction was the hypnotist expecting, anyway? That probably wouldn't do much of anything to a nudist (aside from briefly occupy their mind with a triviality) and might cause some people to freak out even under hypnosis. And it's also possible that a total exhibitionist might abuse the situation like that whether they were under or not. This seems like something that would be too unreliable to use in provoking a specific reaction or response.

  4. K - Whoa. If I had seen that, I'm pretty sure I would remember it too.

    Not Me - It's a very common "entertainment hypnosis" shtick. The idea is that the hypnotized people all squeal and cover themselves or maybe a few walk around like they're strippers with their clothes on.

  5. Yeah most of the other volunteers on stage looked away from the audience and tried to make themselves look as small as possible, covering vulnerable areas as best they could. I can't remember now if there was any imaginary stripper pole antics.

  6. Grass is always greener! Send your men over this way. Personally, I'm largely uninterested in actual, penis-in-vagina sex. Not because I think that's what makes something "really" sex, it's just not so much my thing. I want to spend way more time on the kinky stuff. So I keep finding men (men who have entire collections of floggers, mind you) who keep going, "Yeah...I guess I could hit you with that. *whap* Can't we have sex now? *whine*" And I just go, "B-but...b-but...we've only used one out of your 324 toys! Wh-what about the other 323! I thought we were gonna use them. They'll be so lonely!"


  7. I did the "everything but" thing for a long while when I was single. It was somewhat of an anti-pregnancy measure, but mostly it was to keep me from feeling too attached to my partners. It's a very, very intimate thing for me when a guy comes inside me; after it happens a few times with the same guy, I find myself speculating on whether I should actually try dating him, even if I know we wouldn't be compatible that way. I hate perpetuating the stereotype of sex making women all needy and attached, but that's kind of what happens with me.

    However: if I avoid putting a guy's penis inside me, I can maintain a warm, affectionate, naked, orgasmy friendship easily and indefinitely.

    Of course, I'm not a girl who has orgasms from penetration so the no-sex thing is not a huge sacrifice for me. If I had Holly-ish appetites that would probably have changed the dynamic completely.

  8. Exactly what kind of reaction was the hypnotist expecting, anyway?
    When I saw this, the hypnotized folks scampered to hide behind their chairs. I, being a jackass, stood up in the audience, and afterward one of the women who'd been on stage squealed "I saw you naked!"

  9. "I felt like I was independently deciding to do everything the hypnotist said. You say I'm a chicken sir? Well, I just so happen to want to be a chicken, and this has nothing to do with you"

    And you *still* don't think that Twidty Faster might be right about how patriarchy works?

    Remember how men really love degrading ram-their-cock-in-every-tight-hole-til-the-whore-slut-tears porn, and you just happen to *also* love... Oh year.

  10. But what if you're the one with a false consciousness, and actually we're all walruses, and you're just suffering under an anti-walrus delusion that you can never understand yourself? I pity your inability to see the walruses all around you, and ignore your lived experience of a walrus-free life. That's just what you think you think, you poor little walrus.

    Yes, I love porn that is similar to the kind of sex I like to have. Shocking.

    Also, tearing is a no. More like til-the-whore-slut-comes. Very important distinction actually.