Sunday, May 18, 2008

On Joy.

Probably my biggest continuous revelation when it comes to sex is that sexual pleasure is happiness.

Going in to it, I always thought that sex (or later, perverted/promiscuous/etc. sex) was a dirty pleasure, something like binge eating or cutting yourself--the fulfillment of a physical compulsion but marred with shame and guilt. Something that feels good, but you don't feel good about.

But it turns out, at least for me, that it's simple joy. Like rollercoasters, like sunshine, like puppies. Getting spanked and fucked by near-strangers makes me smile and sparkle and laugh. Other than a little performance anxiety and occasional fear of getting "caught," my emotions about it are positive and surprisingly uncomplicated. It's fun!

Not for everyone, not always even for me. But at its root, when there are no complications, sex is joy.

I've been singing all day.


  1. This is not really a comment on your latest entry. Instead I want to tell you how much I enjoy what you have written over the last few years.

    I stumbled across your blog yesterday and after reading just a few entries , I was hooked. I have been reading every entry and printing out some so I can share them with friends.

    Your take downs of Cosmo are both hilarious and spot on. The post on lateral thinking is a gem. And the honesty and insight of some of your other posts are, well, breathtaking.

    My only quibble is when you describe yourself as ugly. Somebody with such a beautiful, sexy brain can't be ugly. Sorry, that's just the way it is.


    Tried to post this once and no joy. I will try again and hope I don't wind up posting this twice

  2. Somebody with such a beautiful, sexy body can't be ugly.

    Fixed it right up for you.

    Seriously Holly, you don't give yourself nearly enough credit.

  3. Aww thanks. I'm flattered half to death.

  4. Sex is happy-making and healthy. The only people who feel otherwise are the ones who are too repressed to enjoy themselves without feeling like they're doing something wrong.

  5. This is not Bruno's experience. :(

  6. Aebhel - Strue.

    Bruno - Aww. Poor Bruno. *hugs*

    *but not creepy hugs*