Wednesday, May 21, 2008

A thing.

I started to fill out a random "BDSM checklist" from online, then realized that the one I'd started was like a million pages long and I just don't have the stamina to articulate my feelings on arm sleeves versus my feelings on clit clamping ad infinitum. But the things I wrote on the first part were vaguely entertaining so I'm posting them anyway.

Look, this isn't one of them fancy-ass blogs with "organization" and "editing" and "a point", okay?

Part 1. Sexual Activities.
Anal Penetration - Sure! - But I'm not always good at it. The spirit is willing but the butthole is closed.
Anal Fisting - No - Well, I guess if you can you can, but I don't see how on Earth. I'm sure I'll be proven wrong someday.
Anilingus - Meh - If things are very extremely clean.
Cock Worship - Sure! - I ain't religious, but good God I'm spiritual.
Cunnilingus - Sure! - Duh.
Cyber Sex - Meh - I don't know how to type a moan. "Unnghhhoooo" sounds sexy, I swear.
Double Penetration (oral/vaginal) - Sure! - Although maybe not with two different people. But with a dude and a toy.
Double Penetration (oral/anal) - Sure! - Same deal.
Double Penetration (vaginal/anal) - Maybe - Eep.
Gang Bang - No - I just won't feel any emotional intimacy with Dude Seventeen, you know?
Group Sex - Sure! - That's totally different from a gang bang and I'm not even sure why.
Masturbation - Sure! - That's fundamental.
Phone Sex - Sure! - "Unnghhhoooo!"
Rough Sex - Sure! - I think that's the whole point.
Triple Penetration - Maybe - But how will I breathe?
Vaginal Fisting - Maybe - Be vewy, vewy caweful.
Vaginal Sex - Sure! - DUH.


  1. What kind of questionnaire asks about triple penetration two lines away from asking about actually having sex?

    Anal Penetration - Sure! - But I'm not always good at it. The spirit is willing but the butthole is closed.

    Sounds like a challenge.

  2. my best guess, based on three years as a phone sex operator, is that gamg-bang are lots of guys waiting to take turns having sex with YOU. no one else. just you. whereas group sex is about 4+ people all having sex together at the same time. with everyone else who is ther.

    it really does make sense, i swear...

    sorry if i am not clear enough!

  3. Haha I wanna know what this website is that you speak of!

    (I like questions)

  4. Owen - It is, and I've got a couple of brave challengers. :)

    Denlian - Makes sense. A gang bang is about the woman at center being used, whereas group sex is just one big happy pile.

    Mia -

  5. Don't taunt me. :P Ahh, the things I would do to be one of those challengers. Maybe in another lifetime, eh?