Monday, February 9, 2009


Welp, I re-registered for OkCupid, because what's the worst that could happen. (I'm not saying the profile name here, because these things need to be kept separate.)

The frustrating thing right now is that I've written some adorably witty things in the profile but I haven't added pictures yet--I need to go take them, because I don't have any that are both honest and attractive. All the photos I have on my hard drive are either squinty ill-lit party pics, naked, or two years old.

So right now I'm getting charming messages from men who haven't seen my face, which makes me feel really awkward, because I worry these guys might not be interested if they did. Or more to the point, they won't be interested when they do. I feel like somehow, when you picture "a girl," sans photo, you're going to picture someone who looks nothing like me, and when you do see me it's going to be a let-down.

I'm not afraid to show my face, but showing my face to people who've had time to preconceive of me feels daunting.

Ah well, the point of a dating site is to eventually see each other in real life, and there's no controlling your angles there. And yet some guys seem to like me anyway, without being deceived even a little bit! Will wonders never cease.


  1. Hey, long time reader, first-time commenter.

    What's this about naked pictures? Let's see them on here, I say! :)

    As for OKC, I wouldn't worry about disappointing these guys. You're a beautiful, witty woman :).

  2. Does this mean you're no longer in Surgery (Surgery's no longer in you)?

  3. Holly

    It's a dating site.

    On the INTERNET.

    You're a LIVE GIRL

    You'll get responses, more than you want.

  4. I think it takes balls (which may not in fact be as tough as the editors of Cosmo make them out to be)to put oneself out there like that. Putting your real honest-to-gosh face out there for the opposite(?) sex to judge, weigh, and possibly ridicule and reject takes guts. On the other hand, you'll probably do just fine. I have in the fairly distant past been on the other side of the equation, getting to know a girl a little bit through email/phone conversation, forming some kind of image of what she may look like, and then seeing her for real. I can say that the actual never matched the imagined; and I can also say that I was never misled or (that I can recall) disappointed. Anyhow, I strongly suspect that you're really pretty cute.

  5. Do be selective and very careful. My spouse gets hits from people who know she is married and secure. It doesn't stop them. Beware the charlatans.

  6. William - Well okay then! Here's my glistening disembodied torso: Ahoy!

    Bruno - Surgery's okay for fuckin', I guess, but the more I get to know him, the more I'm starting to realize that I don't really like him as a person. We just don't have much in common.

    Lawrence - Thanks for the whole "well, they could ridicule and reject you" thing, I always love a good confidence booster. :p

    Pantiwaste - Holly Pervocracy wasn't born yesterday. She's fluffy, but not gullible.

  7. I totally know what you mean. It's scary putting yourself out there. And I too find it harder when I feel like someone has a preconceived notion of me. But know what? I did it. And I'm a tall, fat chick with all kind of insecurities. So if I can do it, you can do it too. :) You just never know what you might find until you try. I think you rock holly my dear and I'm sure many men will and do agree with me!

  8. It's also worth being aware, on any dating site, that there will be scammers whose aim is to get you to fall in love with them so that they can suddenly [fall ill|get in trouble while travelling through Africa|have a grandmother die] and require you to send money by Western Union or some such. Sometimes they're obvious ("Love your photo!" when you have no photo, or falling in love with you within a few emails), sometimes they're more sophisticated. See for more info if you're concerned/curious.

  9. I don't think you'll have much of a problem; you're cute and funny. I mean, I'm just saying, I'd hit it. ;)

  10. Zeborah - Y'know, I tied my shoes all by myself this morning.

    Drew - And hard. :)

  11. Body's fine Holly. You're shaped like (*GASP*) a woman!!!11oneeleventy

    I know that's harsh an' all... :P

    Besdies: who wants to fuck an ambulatory stick?

    Here's Spoon:

    Bigger boobs, but built the same otherwise... ;)

  12. Holly - *list of objects Drew would hit it WITH* Himself. A stick. Himself. A whip. Himself. Lightning horror machine. Himself. ;)