Monday, March 9, 2009

Nothing to hide.

I've finally gotten to the point in my life where it's okay for me to be sexual. My roommate doesn't mind if I have random dudes over; hell, we've gone shopping for porn and sex toys together. My parents have no way of knowing, don't try to find out, and don't really care in any case. And no one else even potentially cares.

Frustrating, isn't it? I'm coming out of a teenagerhood where sex had to be furtively sneaked around like nuclear secrets, into an adulthood where I could be doing donkeys in here and all anyone would say is "hey, make sure his hooves don't wreck the carpet."

I kinda miss sex being wrong. I've tried so hard to at least have wrong kinds of sex, but nobody seems interested in persecuting me for it. Sometimes I seek out people in the media or blogosphere who are against sex just so I can be reassured that someone disapproves of me.

Of course this is all playacting, because I don't want my sex to be so wrong that there'd actually be consequences for it. And it's egotistical as well; imagining oneself as a member of La Résistance always is. As if I were the only person on Earth who realized that orgasms feel kinda nice and I was standing against an army of prudish Miss Wormwoods by valiantly fucking random dudes.

The sad truth is, I'm within one standard deviation of totally ordinary. That's okay though. Forbidden fruit is overrated. The mindful, loving cultivation of perfectly ordinary fruit is vastly underrated.


  1. It's not wrong to have what other people think of as "normal," and it's ok to like it.

    Most everyone is a bit of a freak between the sheets, and that's what makes the variety so fun.

  2. On Friday night, I was at a housewarming party. Everyone sat in a circle on the floor because the owner's furniture hadn't yet arrived, and for some reason we began an "I'm so lame . . ." conversation.

    "I'm so lame my first concert wasn't until I was in college."

    "I'm so lame I could never get anything but my ears pierced."

    "I'm so lame I have no tattoos."

    "I'm so lame I've never tried pot."

    Then it was my turn: "I'm so lame I own no bondage gear."

    And that kicked off a conversation about where to buy bondage gear (to which I had nothing to contribute). Kinky folks are everywhere, and not all that shy about it.


  3. Bruno - The correct answer is Home Depot.

  4. Holly welcome to adulthood.

    Bruno, Don, there's a reason it's called Dom Depot. Or Home Despot. Between that, a tack shop, and the Galls' catalogue, you to can be a perv on a budget.

    Like I'm gonna sign my name to THIS comment.

  5. Anonymous - Your tone betrays you.

    I didn't know about Galls though, that's cool! (We have a local store here called Blumenthal's that we go to for cop/EMS stuff, but they want paperwork on anything fun.)

    ...Women's duty boots! This site has affordably priced duty boots in actual women's sizes! Oh my gosh! Thank you, incredibly-transparent-anonymous, thank you!

  6. I agree on Home Depot. I had a waitress at my job trying to shock the young new bartender by talking about buying dildos at a local sex shop. I said "that's how I know you're an amateur. Real freaks go to home depot." She was stunned. And intrigued but that's another story. :)