Friday, July 16, 2010

What I want in a bra.

38B. Every store seems to go from 36ABCD to 38CD, and it drives me nuts. 36B will strangle me, 38C will not support my boobs, and 36C is just all kinds of wrong.

A color other than white, black, or "nude." I have white and black already (and black is limited in what shirts it will work under), and "nude" just looks so frumpy to me. I want a bra in a color or pattern that I would wear as a shirt.

Super-mega-maximizing. Push-up, gel pads, basically everything short of stuffing a pair of live rabbits in my shirt. I will have cleavage dammit even if 75% of it is not technically part of my body.

Nipple-concealing. I have big and poky-outy nipples, and while I understand that in some circles this is a selling point, I'd like some control over them.

Kind of... skeezy. You know what I mean? Something that doesn't scream "totally utilitarian, totally acceptable in the locker room" but looks all slutty and sexual.



I'm just frustrated because today I went clothing shopping, and I got a nice dress, a lovely belt, a cute top... and I looked and looked and looked for bras and they were all total failures. Of the very very few that fit, they all had "I don't expect anyone to ever see this" styling. Literally every single one was a Bra Of Shame, in colors and styles I associate with medical devices, touting its utility in "gentle support" or in not being seen or felt. I want a Bra of "check out my fucking tits, people!", and I'm having trouble finding it even online.

33 comments:

  1. I'd enjoy being able to find a 30G somewhere. Alas, that is not a size sold in conventional stores. I'd also like it to not have padding (I have enough cleavage, thanks!). Pretty colors would be appreciated, though.

    Have you tried figleaves.com?

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  2. Victoria's Secret has the elusive 38B online, and in the gel cup as well.

    http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/onlineProductDisplay.vs?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=KB-250066&cgname=OSBRPPUPPOP&rfnbr=7451

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  3. I vary between a 36C and a 38B depending on the style of the bra and who's measuring me, curiously enough. I definitely feel your pain though. The latter size is damn near impossible to find in anything remotely attractive.

    Usually when I'm in Victoria's Secret they lock me away in the dressing rooms, measure me, make me try on various unappealing bras in the aforementioned three colors, and wait until I conclude that they are right and those bras are pure magic before turning me loose in the presence of colorful, cute bras. I think you have to be a pretty strong-willed bra shopper to have access to the cute ones...

    -Jane

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  4. Yeah. 32DD's a special-order size, too... and all of the bras I find in my size are super-industrial and utilitarian. :(

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  5. yeah, all the good bras are internet- or swanky-boutique-only.

    worth every fucking penny, though.

    flightless

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  6. Question: if you found a bra and ensemble that complimented your desire to be checked out, would you be offended if you WERE checked out? Not in a leering, insulting, or otherwise objectifying way, but in a direct way? As in, "Look. Blink. Wow." Maybe go in for a second look?

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  7. Weirdly enough, I thought I was a 38b for years but a 36c actually fits me better. Plus of course 36c bras are much, much easier to find. I wish I'd figured this all out sooner.

    Now I can go to the discount store and get bras that are probably meant for teenagers: padded bras with skulls and crossbones and cute polkadots and whatnot. And they're cheap!

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  8. Push-up, gel pads, basically everything short of stuffing a pair of live rabbits in my shirt.

    *** Damn -- I could have helped you with that.

    I have big and poky-outy nipples, and while I understand that in some circles this is a selling point, I'd like some control over them.

    *** Attach handles. I can definitely help you with that. ;)

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  9. Same size bra here--amen.

    Also, something without underwire? That doesn't look like a granny bra? That would be great.

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  10. I wear womens' pants because mens' pants just don't fit right - too loose around the waist or too tight around the hips, with nothing in between. I could use a belt, of course, but then it looks like I'm wearing pants which are far too big (which is partially true, anyway).

    Wait, that's off topic. Okay, then just 'cuz, my bra measurement would apparently be... 34A? (And I do mean A, not AA...) On a 5'10 male? I don't know how that compares, but that's got to be unusual.

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  11. Maybe try bra extenders? They're just extra bra hooks that make the band bigger. Then you could get fun 36Bs as long as you're ok with an inch of your band being one of the boring utilitarian colors.

    I'm just glad I found Lane Bryant. It's the only place I've ever found that didn't assume 40DD-F wants frumpy, minimizing bras that for some reason make my boobs triangular. I want sexy plunge and lace and rainbow colors, dammit! I like how I look more when the boobs are front and center. Nothing like walking around in public knowing you're wearing something hot pink, lacy, and totally impractical underneath, even if it's just under a T-shirt and no one else can see the cleavage.

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  12. Strangely, I'm a mere 32A, and while you'd think it should be easy for me to find fun bras, I never do seem to find ones that aren't white, black, or nude. The only time I saw interesting bras in my size, they were in the children's section, and my dignity wouldn't stand for it. Indeed, I puffed out my flat little chest and turned my back on them.

    And I've had it up to here with underwire. The other day, I wore one of those tight ribbed tank tops and could clearly see my underwire through it. I spent all day trying to wodge my underwire more firmly under my (woefully inadequate for the purpose) tits to hide it, so my boobs wouldn't look like eyes with bags underneath. I DON'T EVEN NEED IT, AND IT POPS OUT AND STABS ME. Must find bras with no underwire.

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. im 32A and i HATE padded bras. i hate that victorias secret and other such places assumes that i want bigger boobs when i love having small breasts. shopping online helps a lot, or going to places like Daffy's, Century 21, TJ Maxx, and Marshalls. since they have clothes from really different brands you can get sexy stuff for pretty cheap.

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  15. That's the reason why I stopped wearing a bra. Either useless support or choking, so I concluded I can simply skip this step (or avoid choking). Besides a few beautiful comments about how I'm obviously a whore and a slut now, regardless of the amount of layers I seem to be wearing over them, it's a decision I never regretted.

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  16. You are in the Boston area these days, right? All of my Bostonian bra-hunters have fallen in love with a place called intimacy which takes far more care I accurately measuring and fitting you. Check them out!

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  17. I agree completely and would add thin shoulder straps to that list. I don't understand inch wide straps (including about a quarter inch of lacy trim). Too much fabric, and impossible to wear under anything sleeveless.

    Oh, and more than one style. I hate going clothes shopping and feeling like I'm being told I have to be this shape, and if I'm not then I'm wrong (somehow).

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  18. If you want a for-serious boob-maximizing bra and don't care if much of said boobage is yours, check out the Victoria's Secret Bombshell bra. It supposedly adds two cup sizes. Might be hard to find in your size, though, Victoria's Secret is ridiculous about sizes. And will try to sell you bras that don't fit if they don't have the right one.

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  19. May I suggest:

    http://www.ennialingerie.com/

    http://www.figleaves.com/us/home.asp?dept=Sale

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  20. I'm in the UK, and I see a lot of Americans complaining online about the bra availability in the States. It does seem woeful - I mean, look at the variable sizes of actual boobs, there is *no way* that they all fit in the A-D cup sizes readily available. So why are they the only cup sizes available? Cos the bra manufacturers find it easier to only make four sizes and in doing so make anyone who doesn't fit into them feel a total freak.

    It's not like this in the UK, not any more, at least. An amazing company called Bravissimo bust (haha) the bra-sizing myths open a few years ago, and have been fighting for wider size availability for years now. They sell an astounding selection of bras. They do cater for larger cup sizes (D-K) but when you take away the industry-created myths about what a D actually looks like, you'll see that it is nowhere near as big as you have been led to believe. They don't measure with a tape, because tapes don't take into account differing shapes, spacing etc. They do it by eye, and then they teach you what a really well-fitting bra looks like. They have a fitting video here - http://www.bravissimo.com/perfectfit/getting-the-perfect-fit/default.aspx

    I've seen your boobs, and by memory I'd put you at a 34D. I used to think I was a 38DD but lo and behold, I'm actually a 34H, and *so* much more comfortable and supported, and because I am supported I can buy bras that are much flimsier and sexier than I thought I would be able to. I know I'm a bit evangelistic about them, but it's really worth checking out the website.

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  21. Ripplu in NYC is really good. They're the only place that has ever given me a perfectly fitting bra. (They also have a crazy measure system because I am their 30DD. Victoria's secret had me at 32C.) Downside: man, that shit hurts! My boobs really don't enjoy being supported. So just fair warning, you may find a similar side effect to The Perfect Bra.

    - Kara

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  22. I'd like some wider straps please!!! I'm a 36DD and I keep finding bras that fit but have these super think straps that dig into my shoulders!
    I've actually lately taken to nursing bras, they're comfy, but not pretty.
    We all seem to be across the board here and none of us can wear those cute bars it seems... Who are they made for then? Who's buying them??

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  23. ^^ At a 36B, I can fit in the cute bras, but they're so shoddily constructed that they're still majorly uncomfortable. Being smallish, I'd rather just slap some bandaids over the nips and go.

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  24. I feel you, especially with the nipples. I actually don't think mine are out of the ordinary, why do they always show? Also, the bra lines show. Is it because I hate non-natural fibers?

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  25. This is a bummer. It seems like only a small range of the possible bra sizes are actually readily available, & it's like, what's the point of having sizes designated by two separate variables (circumference & cup size), if they're going to conclude that certain numbers almost always go with certain cup sizes? One should be able to find a 38 bra in any cup size one desires.

    I shop at Victoria's Secret, & they're always discontinuing styles of bra right after I've found one that works and is flattering on me. I really wish they'd keep the same designs year after year.

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  26. Holly, a 38 band is meant for a woman who has more than 90 cm measured under the bust. Do you? I've seen your photos and I really don't think so.
    Does your bra stay in one place all day?

    Go to http://bfcidade.wordpress.com/tag/calculating-your-size/ , measure your boobs and calculate your size according to the chart http://stanikomania.pl/pliki/tabela_rozmiarow.html (in centimeters) or use the calculator at http://bra-fitter.tk/ (in centimeters too). Then go to bravissimo.com, figleaves.com or brastop.com to shop for bras in any colour you can dream of. Start with one or two, since you have to find the right size first - if, for example, the calculator says 34E (which is the case for about 80 cm underbust and 99 cm in the bust) then the sizes which may also fit are 32F, 34DD, 36DD and so on. Good luck.

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  27. I'm with you women on the bra horrors. Bras suck. Actually, I like wearing a bra because I hate the shape of my boobs, and my nipples are way too sensitive to be left out to the world, BUT finding a bra that fits me? Nearly impossible. I'm a fat chick, and I mean fat, but I have small boobs. :( According to the bra industry, I don't exist. I've even gone to specialty stores, and they had nothing for me. :( :(

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  28. Oh man, thank you guys so much for your overflowing support. This is definitely giving me a cupful of new ideas.

    Anon 11:31 - Attracting the eye of Mr. Skeevy is always the risk of trying to catch Mr. Sexy's eye, but it's a price I'm willing to pay as long as Mr. Skeevy can keep his mouth shut and his hands to himself. And if Mr. Not-Sexy-Not-Skeevy looks, well, he's not getting laid but I don't really mind.

    ...so no, I don't want to play the "you chicks say you want to look sexy and then you're all offended when we look" game.

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  29. Sorry to hear about the bra woes, but damn, these comments are very helpful! I wear an odd size as well and finding bras that actually fit and are not ugly is hard. I also am "wide set" in that I really REALLY have to find a bra that squeezes me in to give me cleavage and like you, I also have really prominent nipples that I do not want shining through my garments (except for certain private dress-up situations!). Like most women's clothes, the sizes and fits seem to be aimed at some generic female that doesn't exist....arggh.

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  30. A pair of live rabbits would probably conceal your poky nipples very well, though.

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  31. Try here: http://www.barenecessities.com/

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  32. I wear a 34D and have SO MANY of the same complaints. The last time I went bra shopping I almost cried right in Filene's Basement, I got so completely discouraged after searching for my size for half an hour. There were so many super cute bras that just didn't come in my size. There were 34Cs and 36Cs and 36Ds in abundance, but the only 34Ds were plain beige. Blah.

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  33. That's my size! Here's what I do. Check out the closest Nordstrom Rack (usually in larger cities) and go there. It's parent department store has a fantastic lingerie department, but by going to the Rack (where the cycle out-of-season clothes out of the main store regularly) you get a selection of that elusive 38B from a good brand (Affinities, Jezabel) for about twenty bucks. If you've gotta wear the trappings they might as well be nice and fit correctly.
    Good luck!

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