Tuesday, October 26, 2010


So I have mono. I have it like bad--the fever has been going way out of control, I've been getting dehydrated despite being on my fifth liter of saline, and my liver function is all screwed up. I'm going to have to stay in the hospital at least one more night, and might be kinda crappy for a couple weeks.

Oh, uh, if you've exchanged saliva with me recently... I'm really sorry. If you feel sick in the next couple weeks you're probably gonna want to get tested for mono. (Most people have actually had it and didn't know, though, and you can't get it twice. It's one of those diseases that is less severe if you get it at a younger age. So odds are good that even if we've swapped spit you'll be okay.)

At least I have a good hospital room. It's private and shiny-new and there's a nice view. The nurses and doctors have been very kind to me too. Although a bit obfuscating; it's weird that when I'm at work I have instant access to a patient's lab results and med list and care plan and progress notes, and when I'm the patient I barely know what they're injecting into me right now. I've literally learned more about my condition by overhearing conversations about me than I've had directly addressed to me.

My cellphone is dead, so please email me to contact; I have a hospital phone number I'll give out by email. I'm mightily bored and would love visitors; the hospital is close to a T stop in Cambridge.


  1. Wow. I'm kinda glad I haven't swapped any saliva with you recently.

    The rest of New England may be in trouble, though. :)

    What hospital? I'm so gonna show up and ask for Holly Pervocracy at the front desk -- "You know -- the slutty ginger one? Her?" and I bet they'll know who I mean immediately...

    Sucks that you're sick, but I'm glad it's not a permanently-damaging illness. Perhaps someone can bring you your nJoy to pass the time?

  2. That sucks, Holly. Hopefully you get over it soon. I've seen people all over the spectrum with mono, from a cousin who was down and out for about 3 days to another relative who was . . . um, worse.

    Anyway, if you have internet, cracked.com and agonybooth.com are pretty entertaining.

  3. Your mom is just trying to get you to heal quicker. She's just using negative reinforcement (escape conditioning) to do so.

    She's being completely selfless. No, really. if you would only acknowledge that... sniff, sniff...

  4. Further comment to keep Holly entertained:

    Q: What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes?
    A: You get mono by snatching a kiss.

  5. I hope you feel better soon! I had mono in high school and although I was lucky in that I had no high fever or enlarged spleen I was walking around like a zombie for a couple months. Everyone's body reacts differently. I hope you get better quicker than I did! Good luck!!!!

  6. Gets worse with age? Geez. I had mono when I was in *kindergarten* and I was knocked flat for a month. I hope you recover more quickly! Feel better.