Monday, December 29, 2008


I've mentioned before in passing that there's a big overlap between perverts and geeks. There are always people wearing their collars at the Ren Faire and people getting into animated discussions of Joss Whedon at fetish meetings. I'm kinda geeky myself--I bet you, uh, never guessed.

Why is this? Well, there are a couple common themes to geekhood and perversion. One is tinkering. Vanillas say "normal sex is so good, I'm happy with it as it is"--geeks know that science must always move forward. Sure, sex is awesome already, but it could be better! We can rebuild it, make it better, stronger, faster. We have the technology.

Another is the lack of inhibitions. Geeks don't care what the world thinks of their 5-months-in-the-making furry cosplay masterpiece; they know that it's awesome and the people who matter will agree. Well, geeks don't care what the world thinks of their sex either.

There's probably some compensation in there too. Geeks didn't get laid in high school--or even if they did, they were still mocked for being unsexy and they probably felt they weren't getting nearly as many sexual privileges as the cool kids. Well, we're grownups now, so in your face, cool kids!

And the most important, probably, is fantasy. Many perversions are really enactments of sex as high drama. Probably the one defining feature of geekery, more concrete than any other, is escapism. So naturally, we have to escape ordinary human sex. My bedroom is a dungeon, my lover a beautiful monster, violence making our sex so much more intense and passionate and dramatic than reality. Perversion creates a heightened world, sexier than mere sex, a world insulated from reality, (a world where you're really awesome cool and sexy) a world you can be swept away in.

I used to run around with my friends and get bruised and dirty playing that we were grand mythical figures. Now I do... really, the same thing, but with less pants.


  1. fantastic blog maybe one of your best and yay for geekery I was one of those at school I was called Joe 90 after the tele program of the same name.
    But alas alack I may only be discovering my true geekery now .:)

  2. I hope you aren't suggesting we build a six million dollar sex toy.

  3. Owen -- we're not far from that. Google teledildonics.

    As the token vanilla guy 'round these parts, I have nothing to add to this post beyond my puzzlement. It's all just naughty cops and sexy robbers?

  4. You know, this actually explains a lot about this weird perspective issue I've been having. I hang out with a lot of geeks. And a lot of geeks are into kink. I'm not, but among my friends I'm the odd one out for not liking to be tied up and hit.

    So I always figured kink was sort of normal and I just had really boring sexual proclivities. It makes me wonder just how isolated I've been from the world at large.

  5. Bruno - Oh, it's not just that, I think there's also a physical/emotional wiring component that goes deeper than geekhood. But naughty cops and robbers is an undeniable aspect.

    Aebhel - To be honest, I don't really know either, because sometimes I think everyone really is kinky and the only difference is geeks are more open about it. I don't think that's it though, I think geeks really are kinkier.

  6. I'm kinda geeky myself--I bet you, uh, never guessed.

    I didn't---I couldn't. I've read plenty of your posts, and I don't know your favorite books, movies, bands, other hobbies, anything about your interests outside of sex, really. Do you have another blog?

  7. GreenEarth - I do, but unfortunately I can't connect the two because the other blog is ridiculously blatant about my real identity, and the idea that a post-pubescent human might like sex needs to be, yanno, Very Secret.

    I just figured it would be obvious I'm a geek because I write a blog and because said blog tends to not emanate flawless social skills at all times.

  8. Okay, that makes sense. I figured it might be something like that.

  9. I was linked to this post from somewhere else where we were talking about the link between fanfiction readers and BDSM kinkos, and may I say, I wholeheartedly agree!! Why settle for vanilla when your imagination can take you ANYWHERE?

    Geeks tend to like costumes and toys and games and stories and playing make-believe. Why these trends shouldn't extend to their sex lives would be a mystery to me.

    Geeks - and I say it as a proud geek and loving friend to many - have a tendency to be somewhat awkward in the social scene, and frequently iffy on the attractiveness scale. In kink, physical appearance and social savvy takes a backseat to cultivated skill, personal connection, and clicking interests, areas where geeks tend to thrive.

    And finally, geeks have powerful imaginations. I spent most of my adolescence reading and writing smutty fanfiction (instead of getting laid, lol), which has primed my mind to be my most powerful erogenous zone. Sorry, but vanilla just doesn't tickle me there. So where do I turn? KINK. And thank goodness.


  10. This post made me chuckle a bit. I couldn't agree more! I was a major geek in high school so I found this post very intriguing :) I thrive on both perversity and escapism at times and I find that those two ingredients couldn't be a better recipe for fantastic sex, whether it's "geeky" in nature or not. Wonderful entry!