Being around kinky people tends to make me feel pretty. Which is not something I feel around normal people; there's some part of my brain that internalized the message "you are a total dog" around age 12 and will never totally let it go. But around kinky people, even when I'm not getting any play, I feel desirable. Even if nobody at all is saying "yes" to me, at least I feel like I'm being taken seriously as a sexual being.
I guess it's because in Kinkland, I have something to offer. Sometimes I feel (unfairly, I'm sure) that in Vanilla-land, because the range of activities is narrower, appearance matters more. In Kinkland, just the fact that I'm an eager and horny submissive gets me some points. (And likewise, a guy I might not give the time of day under other circumstances gets a whole lot of bonus points for being sexily dominant or super-skilled with rope.)
It's also because the kink world in general is pretty size-positive. It's almost impossible to go to a munch and feel like "the big girl," and it's pretty hard to go to one and not meet a guy who likes big girls.
In a funny way, I also feel prettier in Boston than I did in Seattle. I don't know if it's because I've been moving in kinkier circles here, or I was older and more confident when I got here, but I also feel like there's more women here who look like me, and more men willing to take me seriously. I'm not sure if this perception is true or not, but either way... I feel much prettier now than ever before in my life, and I really love it.
Man, Boston has been just like crack for you so far, ain't it?
ReplyDeleteThere is no way that YOU can feel pretty. You are too ugly for that.
ReplyDeleteI also feel prettier in Boston than I did in Seattle.
Different shades of ugly is not pretty, butt-slut.
Jack - Oh man, yeah. I'm so glad I moved out here. Maybe it's just change that I really like, maybe I'll have to move on eventually, but right now I'm just loving it.
ReplyDeleteButt-slut - You know, that would sting a lot worse if you knew what I looked like.
I started feeling pretty when I hung around more with nerds, that is people who thought it was sexy that I actually have a brain, too, instead of the usual running away as soon as I open my mouth.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you moved out here to. You add an interesting new flavor of crazy to the people I know. :)
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you happy darling, personally, I think they need to spray for Kennedys and other household pest myself.
ReplyDeleteCoulda been worse,
Coulda been San Francisco.
I don't have to know what you look like! There's no way you can be as pretty as ~*~ME~*~. I am the fairest of them all.
ReplyDeleteHole-y, I can tell you haven't been reading this site long.
ReplyDeleteHere is an article about how feminism creates violence against women.
ReplyDeleteA worthwhile read.
There's nothing that makes me want to put all my trust in men more than hearing about how they might kill me otherwise.
ReplyDelete