Thursday, December 6, 2007


The condom came off. Alan and I were fucking around, trying different positions, and at some point we noticed that things felt different. Pull out, look down, oh shit.

Well. He didn't come in me. We've both been tested for STDs. I just finished my period (less than four days from the start) so I'm probably not fertile. This may be a stupid-ass decision, but I'm not going to bother with Plan B when the odds are so low. I'm pretty damn sure I'm fine and nothing will happen.

As you can tell by all the protesting-too-much, I'm a little worried. I'm in that worry sweet spot where you'd feel stupid and neurotic doing something, but you feel all unsettled doing nothing.

I'll say this for modern sex education: it sure as hell can instill some healthy fear into you. As much as I love the cock, I've grown up being told that it's a dangerous thing. You can get pregnant if he doesn't come. You can get pregnant on your period. You can get pregnant from only once. All of these things are technically true. But I don't know how true. In an effort to keep the idiots from going "I can do it without a condom all the time if he don't squirt up in there!" or somesuch, they've left me with no sense of probability. Penises get you pregnant, end of story. I think it's incredibly unlikely in my case. I just wish I had some idea how unlikely. Roulette unlikely? Keno unlikely? Lotto unlikely? Probably somewhere between Keno and Lotto.

They ought to sell those damn things with waterproof tape or something. Maybe a cock ring. The kind that goes behind the balls. Ain't no way that puppy's going anywhere.


  1. I wouldn't worry too much babe. the chances are slim to none really. I've had my share of scares and I know that it doesn't really help when some says done worry, but well, I haven't gotten preg yet, and I've been STUPID in the past.

  2. Dorkie - Yeah, I'm not really that worried. It was more of an "Oh shit... oh well" than a "ZOMG I NEED ABORTION NOWWWW."