So last night I was having sex, as I am so wont to do, and it was going really well--I was coming my brains out and then some. And then too much. Sometime after the tenth orgasm I just couldn't take any more. I was in that state where every touch is amplified, only the touch in question was fast hard fucking. I had to stop. I couldn't take it.
For some reason I feel worse having any sexual inadequacies when it's in a kinky context. Like I was somehow misrepresenting myself as kinky if I can't perform at a certain level. I'm not kinky, I can't even get fucked properly and sometimes I only want to be beaten a little bit! If I was really kinky I'd have a vagina like a Fleshlight and an ass like leather. Instead some asshole went and put way too many nerves in them.
It's funny how I can have sex that involves knives and pee and being pounded with lead-filled sap gloves, then worry I just wasn't kinky enough.
Anyway, we took a break, he hit me a bit as my partners are so wont to do, and then we started fucking again. And this time I held back. Which kind of sucks--trying not to grind my hips against a guy or tighten my pussy around his cock is just wrong! But that meant I only came a couple times, so I was able to go the distance.
When a guy brags about having a huge cock and being able to go full throttle for hours, I don't think "wow, heavenly." I think, "wow, that's so much more than I need." When average sex is amazing for me, amazing sex is... just too damn much.
Not that it's particularly comforting, but you aren't alone in this. I have fibro, so my body betrays me all the time... Sometimes sucking my nipples will make me cum, other times it just makes me want to scream - in a bad way. My pain tolerance is also much lower than it used to be, a combo of living with chronic pain and the fibro messing with my sensitivity. So I can't take what I once could, and when I see what others can take... I feel like I'm a faker... Like I don't deserve to think of myself as kinky. Indeed, I don't really think of myself as kinky anymore. I feel so far removed from other kinky folk.
ReplyDeleteDoes any woman like the idea of being pounded full-out for hours? I'm seriously asking.
ReplyDeleteEvery guy I've ever been with has obsessed over whether he lasts long enough...and as far as I'm concerned they all clocked in at perfectly respectable times! But maybe my needs are different from other people's.
If I've already had an orgasm or two, ten minutes of sex is perfectly lovely for me. If I'm trying to orgasm during the sex I'd need a half hour, at the absolute most (if I'm just masturbating by myself, I'm done in two minutes, but I find penetration during the act both really stimulating and really distracting so it takes way longer).
-perversecowgirl
There's nothing wrong with having limits to pain or sensation, just like there's nothing wrong with having limits in whatever kind of play you're doing.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're certainly no less of a kinkster for having limits! :)