Friday, February 29, 2008

"...A dry one?"

Alan and I were in bed together under the covers, with me stroking his cock. He closed his eyes and started to groan and move his hips into me, and then grabbed my arm hard and his body tensed and he threw his head back and moaned.

But we looked under the covers, and... nothing. There was no semen and his cock wasn't getting soft. He'd felt an orgasm, but he hadn't ejaculated.

Sadly I can't tell you that I kept going for the gold, because he kind of freaked out and asked me to stop. But I wonder, if he'd let me, what might've happened. It's possible that was just a slightly dysfunctional orgasm, but it's also possible that he was on the verge of multiple orgasms.

And how goddamn cool would that be?


  1. I've read that sometimes the semen gets rerouted into the bladder. So yes, a dysfunctional orgasm, but something prized in certain cultures either as a display of muscle control or as a way to "retain energy."

  2. Bruno - Makes sense except that he also stayed hard and didn't seem to get the post-orgasmic hypersensitivity. So I'm not sure.

    Also, Brandon's reaction was not one of great control or energy but more like "Guh?" But I'm sure Spider-Man also felt that way the first time his powers emerged.

  3. Spiderman shoots sticky stuff from his wrists.

  4. Spiderman shoots "sticky stuff" from his "wrists."

  5. I'm bothered by the characterization of dry-coming as "dysfunctional". Non-standard, certainly, but calling it dysfunctional implies that the only sort of male orgasmic pleasure that "counts" is ejaculatory.

    The common view of male sexual pleasure is very ejaculation-centred, which IMO/IME really screws with men's capacity to recognize and appreciate other aspects of sexual pleasure - so to me, this just looks like an opportunity to explore outside that particular box, not only the possibility of multiorgasm, but whatever you might discover.


  6. Orgasm and ejaculation are, physiologically, two very separate things, and one can be done entirely without the other one. Cool eh! I have a friend who has great sex but deliberately hasn't ejaculated in years; he doesn't get sleepy after he comes, but instead is filled with energy. And can go again straight away if he wants. He is the envy of most guys I know!

  7. Sunflower - Oh, I totally agree that men getting pleasure from everything that happens during sex and not just ejaculation is very important, I'm not using the word "dysfunctional" as a judgment call on all non-ejaculatory pleasure, I'm just saying that if it ended up in his bladder, that is not his body's regular function.

    For going outside the box--there's the box of "male pleasure is all about coming", which is something I'd be happy to be out of, but then there's the box of physiological sexual function, and that one's a little harder to get out of.

    Manda - I don't mean to offend but to be perfectly honest I have trouble believing that. I mean, of course I don't know unless I see it... but wearing my pre-med hat rather than my sex-blogger hat, male orgasm is a physiological event. Ejaculation is a spinal reflex and the release of hormones (oxytocin, prolactin) making you sleepy and unable to go again is equally out of conscious control. "Deliberately" not ejaculating seems to me about as possible as simply deciding not to get your period.

    Of course I can't know for sure, I don't know your friend and I'm sorry to be a jerk, but it really sounds to me like he's calling some other sensation "orgasm" and just not having orgasms.

  8. Well, Holly, pulled straight from Wikipedia after a search that took about 0.1 seconds:

    "It is possible for a man to have an orgasm without ejaculation (dry orgasm) or to ejaculate without reaching orgasm. Some men have reported having multiple consecutive orgasms, particularly without ejaculation. Males who experience dry orgasms can often produce multiple orgasms, as the refractory period, is reduced.[15] Some males are able to masturbate for hours at a time, achieving orgasm many times.[15] In recent years, a number of books have described various techniques to achieve multiple orgasms. Most multi-orgasmic men (and their partners) report that refraining from ejaculation results in a far more energetic post-orgasm state.[citation needed] Additionally, some men have also reported that this can produce more powerful ejaculatory orgasms when they choose to have them."

    So, um, yeah. Go the Drygasm!!

  9. And here we go, ladies and gents, from Men's Health dot com:

    "The male orgasm is not just about ejaculation. It is possible to have an orgasm without ejaculation.
    # Pre-adolescent boys may experience an orgasm without ejaculation.
    # Some men do not have an ejaculation until several seconds after orgasm.
    # Some men, who are incapable of ejaculation, are still capable of orgasm.
    # Some men, may experience several ejaculations and go on to have further orgasms, but without ejaculation."

    Sorry to be a jerk, but... to be quite honest, I don't know how you can have trouble believing something when you don't bother to look it up. With all due respect, I'm also surprised that with your "pre-med" training you apparently never learned about basic male physiology.

  10. Manda - I did look it up, and I don't doubt that male multiple/non-ejaculatory orgasm exists. (It's not, however, recognized in any of my textbooks--they're very detailed on the mechanism of a conventional ejaculatory orgasm but don't mention any alternatives for men.)

    The thing I have trouble with, not to be a jerk myself, is the idea of someone doing it deliberately, exclusively, and thereby circumventing all normal male sexual limitations. I believe in "whoa... twice!" now and again--but someone saying "all night, every night, five times and not a drop" makes me skeptical.

    I'm sorry, I don't know you, I don't know your friend, I appreciate your comments on my blog, I just have trouble getting over my skepticism.

  11. Non-ejaculation during orgasm is really common and encouraged in Taoism as a way of stockpiling energy. Be as disbelieving as you like. I've slept with a few guys who have easily withheld ejaculation but had brilliant orgasms. Tell Brandon welcome to the drygasm club, from me.

  12. How fun that he stumbled upon drygasming, much in the same way that so many women stumble upon female ejaculation, oops! WTF? Ahhh.

  13. I don't know jack about drygasm, but I do know this:

    Spider-Man shoots sticky stuff from /web-shooters/, which he /built/ and attaches to his wrists when he puts on his costume.

    Sorry. Comic-book-reading pedants are probably not your target audience.

  14. Kendal - You are entirely correct and I am shamed that I did not make that more clear. Awkward puberty metaphors have nothing on the way it's supposed to happen, dammit.