Saturday, February 23, 2008


I love kissing. Being face against face, literally tasting a man with eyes closed and my whole being somehow living in my lips and tongue and slightly unsure where my mouth ends and his begins.

Everyone has a different taste. Semen's all the same, far as I can tell; sweat and saliva are intensely personal. I only kissed my friend Clark once, years ago, and if I tasted him again I'd instantly know. There are no good words for the scent of a man's mouth--instead of a thought it's a feeling and the memory of all the times I've kissed him before.

Kissing before sex. Arousing, maddening, a single kiss sometimes enough to make him hard and me wet. Kissing during sex. Tender, passionate, connecting bodies on a solid line from thighs to foreheads, sweaty. Kissing after sex. Sealing in the bliss.

And "making out"--something I wish I could do more--just kissing and kissing and kissing and for its own sake and not letting it end.

Out in public, a peck on the cheek. No great sensual pleasure, but we know what it means. There's electricity in the lips and a promise of what will happen when we're alone.

There's no masturbation for kissing. Kissing your hand just makes you feel like a dork. There's no good kissing in porn and there's no kiss fetish community. Kissing on screen, even the kind of kiss that shoots straight to your groin and makes you gasp and clutch the back of your partner's head, is G rated.

I like it when a man's kiss is a little slobbery, a little uncontrolled. Being a "good kisser" isn't half so important as forgetting to care whether you're good.


  1. KISSING!!!! It's truly one of the best experiences I've had as far as being part of a couple goes.

    The public be-discreet-kiss-on-the-cheek is always sweet (and yes, we all do know what it really means)... The kisses before sex that really do make you mad and wild. I can actually *tell* when the switches goes from 'off' to 'on' in my boyfriend when we make-out before sex - there's something that changes in his eyes and in the way he touches me and especially in the way he kisses me. It moves from the "we're kissing, this is good" stage to the "we're kissing and I love the way you're pressed up against me and I can feel how much you want me and GOD I want you now!" stage. (Definately a great place to be...)

    The kisses we kiss during sex kind of seem like afterthoughts sometimes, but not bad. More like... You get so caught up in the moment when you're in the middle of sex that your head (or his) is thrown back and you're to into what you're doing to remember to kiss and then you look up (or down) and see them there, watching you, hot eyes, hot hands and you remember that kissing is so fucking great and you kiss them and it's bliss.

    I've also got a thing for the way my boyfriend touches me - fleeting little touches in public, often across my lower back or my butt; a hand on my knee or thigh or holding my own hand in the car or on the couch; both hands sliding and pinching and grabbing during sex... And it makes me weak (yes, literally, I shake and shiver and feel woozy for a second or two) when he touches or kisses my neck or collarbones. Drives me wild, instantly.

  2. Also, that was long-winded. Sorry about all that blabbering.

  3. Karyn - Long-winded and also passionate and honest. Don't be sorry.

  4. I've been with only one woman who wasn't fun to kiss. I think I was surprised at how much of a difference it made. And I think about kissing my current crush[1] all the time, almost to the exclusion of more explicit fantasies.

    That's all just to say that even on Mars we like kissing.

    [1] Yes, I'm still 13.

  5. Bruno - You're adorable.

    (Also, I'm sort of curious how someone could not be fun to kiss because I've never had that experience. Bad breath or visible reluctance?)

  6. Right now I'm inclined to say something bitter and petty about being adorable instead of desirable, but that would make me precisely the same as all the women I've heard complain about being cute instead of hot (not a meaningful distinction most of the time, by the way), so I won't.

    To answer your question: neither. It was simply awkward. Perhaps we wanted different techniques? But somehow it was even more awkward than the woman who really liked to bite (when I don't bite and I'm not interested in being bitten).

  7. Bruno - I know my opinion isn't the one you really want, but I think you're desirable as hell. It's possible for a guy to be adorable but not hot (see: Shia LaBeouf), but that's not you.

    (Anyway I more meant "adorable" as in "dreams about smooching and has a crush" than as an overall judgement.)

    Biting boys is fun! Especially when you come back in a week and the mark is still there. There's something very special about that.

    *land shark*

  8. (Anyway I more meant "adorable" as in "dreams about smooching and has a crush" than as an overall judgement.)

    I know, I'm just being overly sensitive because I'm admitting to something I'd rather ignore. There's a non-zero chance that she'd be receptive, of course, but I'm still working on finding the chutzpah to think up a way to do something about it.

  9. I would totally do Shia LeBeouf, adorableness and all... ;)

    This post has convinced me that this blog is teh awesome. Dropped by via Figleaf. Will be back.


  10. Like zz, I came via Figleaf's, and will be back. I like your take on things, and I think I've fallen for Bruno, even if I am old enough to be his mother (eep, or even his grandmother). I'm a sucker for well-articulated insightfulness.


  11. ZZ - See, Bruno, there's someone for everyone! Even boys named "Shia."

    And thanks, and good to have ya, ZZ.

    Sunflower - Unless you're eighty or something, (and it would be seriously cool if you are), not bloody likely. He is pretty easy to fall for though.

    And nice to have you here on the Bruno Blog, which occasionally gets falsely advertised as mine.

  12. A-ha, methinks I took a metaphor too literally. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. (Just for the record, I'm 46, a not-at-all-remarkable age for someone floating around in the realm of sex blogs and sex-pos feminism blogs - I agree that an 80-year-old doing so would be cool indeed.)

    It looks to me like you're plenty outspoken enough to maintain your ownership of your blog. You notice my phrasing didn't restrict my suckerhood to Bruno's well-articulated insightfulness.