Tuesday, January 1, 2008


I'm taking my first weeklong break from the pills and have discovered:

-I'm not pregnant! Oh my God I am so totally not pregnant! If I had any grasp of biology and probability this wouldn't be a surprise, but there's still a tiny nun deep inside my head who believes that there must be a punishment for being such a naughty girl. And a baby would be a really rotten punishment, so since I've been really rotten... I dunno, apparently these crazy little pills are able to circumvent the laws of crime and punishment. Maybe I've just got AIDS instead.

(I'm fairly sure I don't. This is all tiny-nun thinking, not actual-risk thinking.)

-I'm SO GODDAMN HORNY. I mean, I'm usually horny, but this is extra insane. I can't stop thinking about sex! I keep having vivid flashbacks to sex I've had before, and making elaborate plans about what I'm going to do when I get back to Benny and Alan. (You think they'd do a threesome? Probably not. Benny would do it for sure, he'll try anything, but Alan would hate it.)

Damn, why are my partners split between the sexually adventurous one (who is, despite occasional flashes of sweetness, basically an asshole) and the romantic one (who is, despite better physical qualifications, basically a boring fuck)? I hope that's a coincidence. I'd hate to find out that "will bring flowers, light candles" and "will do ouchie things to butt" really are mutually exclusive qualities.

They aren't for me.

1 comment:

  1. It doesn't have to be. Mutually exclusive, I mean.

    Tough to find? Yes.