Tuesday, January 22, 2008


I went to the gynecologist today. The first speculum she tried was the standard adult size and it didn't fit at all. She tried twice--one "ow" and one "AUGH!"--and then got out the pediatric version.

The funny part, of course, is that Jon's gotten his damn hand in there. The foreplay was a bit more involved, of course, (sitting twenty minutes in a cold room wearing a paper gown doesn't put me in a, er, receptive mood) but it's still remarkable.

Another time, I blindfolded Jon and fucked him without any foreplay for myself, and he asked me afterwards "Was that your pussy or your ass?"

My little sister used to say "tight" to mean "good." It was just slang she'd picked up at school, but it really bothered me. I don't think she'd grasped the etymology.

I've often heard people talk about slutty women having loose pussies. I've never heard anyone suggest this would happen to a girl who had sex a whole bunch of times with one guy.

In the end, I think asking "how tight is my pussy?" is like asking "how tight is my hand grip?"--there's no single answer, because it's a muscle not a hole. It isn't under as much conscious control as my hand, but it's a living moving thing. It can take in a fist and keep out a pencil. It's as tight as it needs to be.

(The gynecologist also let me look at my cervix with a mirror. I think this was supposed to be a beautiful view into the Core Of My Womynhood, but it pretty much just looked like guts. Um, yay, I have guts?)


  1. Tight can also refer to music. You know like sometimes rhythm can be loose (like jazz) and sometimes it can be tight. So if a band that is not a jazz band is playing well, someone might say they are "tight" so that could be another reason why tight is good. Back in the 40s, tight meant drunk, which I never understood. You'd think drunk would be loose, but in old movies, people say tight to mean drunk.

  2. Sugar - True, and it can also refer to being "tight" (close) with your friends. But something tells me that an eighth-grade boy going "that shit is so tiiiiight" isn't talking about jazz rhythms.

    I could be wrong, though, it could be innocent. It sounds gross to me though.

  3. My grandmother would say when she was full after dinner that she was "tight as a tit," which we took to mean the bird. 'Course, in retrospect she could've been saying "tick," which would make sense as well.

    And the guts comment is priceless.

  4. Scott - Where a normal person would say "whatever floats your boat," my grandmother says "whatever turns you on." It's quite disconcerting.